gayish

point that should ponder upon..

"What's the point of being a lesbian if a woman is going to look and act like an imitation man? " ~Rita Mae Brown

hell yeah...what's the point eyh~~urmm..

maybe because SHE wanna be hotter than a GENUINE man.hahaha.

ouh...menyampah ai...

ewwww~~ tu je la yang mampu aku katakannnn.hahaha.

ni sebelom aku mule study aku nak ngumpat sikittttt..sikit je laaa..

ni la nak cite ni...kisah yang dah tak terpendam lagi..haha.
ada la sorang makhluk tuhan ni, tak taw la ape jenih penyakit ada kat dia ni
tapi penyakit tu serius buat aku rasa macam nak muntah balik biskut 4 sagi yang aku makan td.
al-kisah nye macam ni..

si anu ni...macam orang culture shock. aku tak kesah la ko memang gile barang2 branded. tapi bile ko snap gamba bersama plastik2 o0o0ps~~ PAPER BAG barang2 branded, bajet baru pas shopping barang2 tu *tak tau la betul ke dia shopping or orang lain punye kan* obviously ko nak tunjuk kat sume orang ko pakai barang2 branded!

*alaaa tapi takde la branded mana pon.stendet student2 je laaa. ouh...maybe dia dok parit..so orang parit mana reti nak shopping2 sangat kaaannnn. kesian aku tgk si anu ni..mintak le di suluh jalan terang dihadapaaannn.semoga terhenti lamunannyaaa.*

yang aku tak tahan tu barang2 tu orang lain pon pkai laaa.tak de pon nak kecoh2 tangkap gamba mcm tu. eiii..serius aku menyampah.

and aku tak kesah langsung ko pakai pe jenih brand pon..heh! *ada aku kesah* tapi aku kesah bile ko tak habih2 sembang mcm manusia yang paling branded di doniaaa...

*si anu penah berkata....boring la kat parit ni takde brand G.tak best shopping.hek elehhhh...sian gilaaa..macam tu je la brand yang terpaling branded.da takde brand lain daah. gambo pon dengan plestik brand peberet.hahahaha.*

ye laa..tu duit kamu..suke hati kamu le.TAPI aku yang mendengor setiap labun mcm baguih kamu tu.erghhh.....kenapa la wujud manusia mcm ni.

maap le ngate..tapi memang mcm orang kampung yang tetibe masuk jj lalu sexicted dengan barang yang dibeli...

dan yang paling aku tak leyh tahan.....kot kaya sangat apsal tiap kali nak ckp dengan aku, suh aku yang call.bila aku suh call dia kata credit takda...ouh pelissss laaa.nak call orang pon duit takdaaa...
maka dengan itu tutup le cite ngumpat.haha. aku nak study plak.


*ni kalo si anu ni baca mampoih aku kena maki.haha.*

lagu tiada kaitan dengan cerita.harap maklum.

Oops I Did It Again by Britney Spears

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

I think I did it again
I made you believe we're more than just friends
Oh baby
It might seem like a crush
But it doesn't mean that I'm serious
'Cause to lose all my senses
That is just so typically me
Oh baby, baby

[CHORUS:]
Oops!...I did it again
I played with your heart, got lost in the game
Oh baby, baby
Oops!...You think I'm in love
That I'm sent from above
I'm not that innocent

You see my problem is this
I'm dreaming away
Wishing that heroes, they truly exist
I cry, watching the days
Can't you see I'm a fool in so many ways
But to lose all my senses
That is just so typically me
Baby, oh

[Repeat CHORUS]

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

"All aboard"
"Britney, before you go, there's something I want you to have"
"Oh, it's beautiful, but wait a minute, isn't this...?"
"Yeah, yes it is"
"But I thought the old lady dropped it into the ocean in the end"
"Well baby, I went down and got it for you"
"Oh, you shouldn't have"

Oops!...I did it again to your heart
Got lost in this game, oh baby
Oops!...You think that I'm sent from above
I'm not that innocent

losing someone

Date - 13th August 2009
Time - 8:53:50 a.m
Place - Contigency lab

i got a phone call from unknown number. i didnt recognized the number, then i checked it back. yeap.that's my grandma's house number. i feel uneasy with the phone call. so i decided to call it back. the maid picked up the phone.while talking with the maid, i heard from back my mom's voice "mak da meninggal." i really crying like hell. then my mom take the phone. i really cant talk. my mom said that my grandma just passed away around 8.30.

i decided to go back.then i entered class with tears on my eyes. i told rima what happened and then i told my lecturer that i'm going back.luckily he understand my situation. sue sent me to MC. thanks sue. really appreciate it.

i hate that i fuck up on that day!!!!

- i hate the facts that i choose the wrong bus!

yeap.i choose to take the direct bus thinking that i could reach early.but actually i miss it all! that fucking bus is really make me cry harder!!!i swear that i will never take that bus again!!

- i hate the fact that i missed the important moment.
- i hate that i couldn't kiss my grandma for the last time!
- i hate that i'm the only one that missed the moment!

but at least i'm happy cuz i've done everything that i should do as her grandchild...

during my childhood......

still remember that i always accompany her at her house while she stay alone. sometimes i will took shift with my bro or cousin.

or when she stay at my house, every evening, i need to walk with her back to her house. i need to hold her hand cuz she cant walk on her owned.

then, during night, if no one there, i will stay overnight there. i still remember how annoying my old grandmama can be when she called me every ten minutes to ask whether i have swithed off the lights or not.

sometimes, we even argued when i wanted to watch american next top model while she wanted to watch the berita dunia.haha.

but how nice she can be when there's one night, her maid suddenly scream, cuz she saw "something". and me sleeping alone at another room. but i can hear my grandma whispering to her maid "jangan jerit2.nanti cucu aku bangun dia takut. diam." i feel so touch with her act. i know she love me.hehe.

after i entered mmu..

everytime i'm going back to KK sure i will visit her. and everytime i visited her, she will shout happily "o0o0o0o adek noorrrrr...cucu aku datang!kamu sehat ka?" then goes her story that i heard it about countless time. =D then when i'm going back she will say jaga diri baik2 naaa..kamu nanti nak jadi loyakaan.nanti da jadi loya kamu bagi duit kat pah sikit naaa."kamu selaaaaaamaaattt pergi kamu selaaaaaaaaaamaaattt balik."

sadly, she dont have that chance to see me as a loya~

last mid term break..

she didnt recognized me at all. she suffered brain stroke. pity her. but still at the same time, her act make me laugh. =D

i even buying her medicine and some foods..all the foods left untouch.

today...

i really feel empty. went i'm going to her house yesterday. everything seems incomplete. no grandma's voice..

all the memories remains. her voice, her eyes, her laugh, her touch..

*thanks to Pah for taking care of me too during my baby time.hehe


may u rest in pieces pah tersayang Kalsum Bibi binti Ibrahim Ghani

pah duduk berbaju purple.

Pergi Tak Kembali by Rabbani

Setiap insan pasti merasa
Saat perpisahan terakhir
Dunia yang fana akan ditinggalkan
Hanya amalan yang dibawa

Terdengar sayup surah dibaca
Sayunya alunan suara
Cemas di dada...lemah tak bermaya
Terbuka hijab di depan mata

Selamat tinggal pada semua
Berpisahlah kita selamanya
Kita tak sama nasib di sana
Baikkah atau sebaliknya

Amalan dan takwa jadi bekalan
Sejahtera bahagia pulang...ke sana

Sekujur badan berselimut putih
Rebah bersemadi sendiri
Mengharap kasih anak dan isteri
Apa mungkin pahala dikirim

Terbaring sempit seluas pusara
Soal-bicara terus bermula
Sesal dan insaf tak berguna lagi
Hancurlah jasad dimamah bumi

Berpisah sudah segalanya
Yang tinggal hanyalah kenangan
Diiring doa dan air mata
Yang pergi takkan kembali lagi

kejadian di kedai pengantin

itulaaahh love note yang aku dapat dari seseorang..

cerita nya bermula begini..

hari akak aku tunang and aku pi kedai pengantin teman akak aku mekap. kemudian dalam kedai tu adalaaa sorang laki ni..

time tengah akak aku mekap tu tetibe dia bagi aku kertas. aku pon dlm keadaan yang paling blur amik je laaa...then biler aku baca pe yang dia tulis, mula2 muka aku pelik, kendian blur, kendian gelak sorang2, kendian aku ingat mamat ni!!

mamat yang bagi aku kertas tu sebenarnya adalah seorang lelaki pekak dan bisu yang bernama FIRDAUS.

tapi kendian aku tengok dia aku senyum dan lalu terussss buat bodoh...my sign language quite bad~maka tak kose mak nak berinteraksi.heheh.

aku kenal dia sebab time aku derjah 5 and 6 kelaih aku sebelah kelaih dia. masa sekolah dulu, sekolah aku ni mmg ada kelas untuk mereka2 yang istimewa ni...

dedolu time zaman sekolaahh dia sangat suka kat sorang kawan aku nama syima. selalu la dia bagi love note kat syima ni..selalu dia akan tulis i ♥ u or firdaus ♥ syima or syima ♥ firdaus.hehe. mcm2 la love notes dia bagi. kalo tak bagi pon tiap kali dia nampak syima tu mesti dia buat i ♥ u guna sign language tu..hehe.

da la sekolah aku gal school.mana ada jantan lain.maka dia laaa yang paling gatai ponnn. bebudak lain takde la plak nak gatal2 cam tu.hehe.

tapi aku maseh pelik camne dia cam aku.pasal aku tak penah langsung berinteraksi dengan dia. say "hi" pon tak penah. so aku pikir maybe la aku selalu ke kelaih dia cuz coach hoki aku cekgu dia ni. tapiiiii..tu pon long l0nggggggg time ago..

hari tu biler aku jumpe dia aku agak kesian la dgn dia.pasal dia mcm tak betui skeyt..tak silap aku dia ni pekak and bisu je.bukannya ada masalah terencat akai. tapi hari tu akak kedai pengantin tu cakap budak ni slalu dtg kedai tu sebab katanya nak cari baju pengantin.dia kata nak kawen 2011.hurrrrrmm..masalaaahnya lambat lagi...

kendian aku terpikir, mana la parents ka family budak ni..awatla tak jaga betui2..bagi proper education..sian kat dia.dari sehat teruih nampak mcm tak betuii..bila aku dok tangkap gambaq akak aku, dia pon sebok nak pakai baju pengantin pastu suh akak kedai tu tangkap gambaq dia.. sian..sian..

maka begitulaaaahhhhh ceritanyaaaa. semoga mamat yang bernama firdaus ni jumpalaaa pasangan yang sesuaiiiii..hehe.

[teringat plak kat cite L word.hehe]

Private Number by William Bell & Judy Clay

Since I've been gone
You've had your number changed
But my love for you, girl
Still remains the same

Now, I've been loving you and
You've been loving me so long
Baby, what's wrong

So I'm asking
Baby, baby, baby
Please let me have your number
Baby, baby, baby
Please let me have your number

I'm sorry you couldn't call me
When you got home
But other fellows kept on calling
While you were gone

So I had the number changed
But I'm not acting strange
Welcome home
Baby, nothing's wrong

So I'm saying
Baby, baby, baby
You can have my private number
Baby, baby, baby
You can have my private number

Baby, baby, baby
You can have my private number
(Thank you, baby)
Baby, baby, baby
For giving me your private number
(You can have it)

Thank you, baby
Baby, baby, baby
You can have it anytime you want it
You can have my private number

engagement @ royal town

tanggal 1hb ogos ri tu akak aku telah ditunangkan dgn boipren tersayang..congratz lah diucapkan setelah segala rintangan ditempuh bersama..huhu.

maka kat sini aku nak letak la gamba2 time majlisnye.

ni time malam jumaat.sume orang tengah sebok wat keje. aku pon sebok gak laa..sat ke depan potong daun pandan, sat gi da ke dapor plak tolong masak...tp most of the time aku la cameraman cabuk di malam itu..

hantaran yang belom siap susun lg..huhu

sesi memotong daun pandan

chef tersohor sedang memasak

co-chef sedang bertungkus lumus memotong ubi..

okayy..enuff utk malam bertunang...di hari pertunangan plak...maseh banyak keja tak siap..di dapur kena goreng ayam dan di depan ada lg 2-3 dulang hantanran tak siap..maka aku sat tolong buat dulang, sat tolong tgk ayam goreng, sat pi kemaih bilik..

kendian aku teman akak aku pi siap kt kedai pengantin plak...and time tu la aku dapat LOVE NOTE~

sila klik untuk besarkan gamba

neway aku tak cam mamat yang bagi surat ni..until aku baca pe yang dia tuliss..so damn freaking funny kay..die bleyh cam aku walopon kiteorang knal time skolah rendah..da 10 tahon kotttt..and time skolah dlu tak penah pon aku berinteraksi dgn dia..haha.

actually mamat ni bisu.kat skolah aku dulu ada klas khas utk bebudak pekak dan bisu and kelaih aku sebelah kelaih mamat ni..tak sangka plak dia igt.time skola2 dulu dia slalu tulis surat kt member aku je..hehe

ok laaa...da abih mekap2 balik la umah..hehe.da la ujan time tu.terpaksalaaa aku sebagai runner pengantin payungkan dia..da la sampai2 orang da penuh kat umah..kena la pengantin masuk ikut pintu belakang..huhu.

setelah itu...aku pon sampai..sesampai je depan gate umah, mak aku da suh aku angkat sekontena sudu..huhu. kendian aku masuk la bilik aku..tetibe..MAK DATOK!!! bilik aku da penuh dengan cousins aku..hehe. so pas aku salam2 sume baru la aku make up plak..hehe.takkan nak comot je kaaan..tp tu pon asik tergendala je..ada je la hal2 nak kena buat..

all the girls get together.. [tp time ni aku takdak..ntah aku tang mana pon tak tau laa.] dengan bilik paling bersepah nyaaa..aih~~

tapi sebelom rombongan sampai aku sempat la jugak snap gamba dengan akak aku..huhu.

around 4 rombongan sampai la sudah...mengikut kameraman time tu [abang aku] depa mai 10 buah keta~sumpah penuh umah aku!da la umah aku cumel je..memang full house la time tu...

rombongan baru sampai~

ni time tengah kira.. =)

pertunangan berlangsung...

majlis pon tamaaaattttt~

maka dengan rasminya akak aku jadi tunang orang..wahahaha

setelah selesai segalanyaaaaa, maka bermulalaaahhh sesi kemas mengemas..letih oke!! sumpah letih....

at first tengok akak aku tunang mcm best..hehe.rasa mcm aku pon nak tunang gaaak..tp setelah segalanya berakhir aku rasa kalo letuh cam ni takyah tunag laaa..buat ghenyang!

macam2 la nak kena kemasss.dari bilik, sampai ke barang2 hantaran, dengan lauknye lagi, dengan periuk2 nya laaaaagi~~aih~

la ni...baru settle..tu yang update tu..hehe..

ok laaa.aku nak gi tengok pendekar bujang lapok... [mambang mabuk minum brandy.. =D]