Tuesday, October 23, 2012

the day I lost my love


23.10.2012 / 9.00 am

I was rushing to court. And my love is missing in action. I'm searching for my love. I try my best to find my love but my love is nowhere to be found.

I lost control. Sad, frustrated, upset, angry. where is my love?

Since I was rushing to court, I need to forget bout my love for awhile. But of course I can't concentrate on my driving. I kept thinking bout my love. What happened to my love. All the negative presumptions running through my mind.

Back from court, I try for another luck. But it seems like luck is not on my side today. Still my love is missing, unsearchable. I went to my room, get a  nescafe ice cool just to reduce my sorrowfulness. 

I'm going to office with my sadness face. Obviously I can't live without my love. I feel uncomfortable without my love with me. During lunch break, I once again try my best to find my love. still unlucky. I try to think positive. I convince my heart that I will meet my love this evening.

Back from the office, still not giving up, with full of hope, I'm searching for my love everywhere. Negative. It is hard for me to let go my love. To actually moving on and find a new love. But, if this is a faith that my relationship with my love end here, I accept. 

Still... deep inside, I wish, I can find my love and back together again. To find a replacement for my love is something that may take months or years. I am a choosy person. Once I fall in love, it is impossible to just forget and move on. Every thing will not be the same again without my love.

My love, I wish I can meet you again back together again. If not, may you Rest in Peace. Sigh.......


Losing You by Dead by April

What I have in me,
in my mind is you

(I would die if we were through)

What I'm feeling now,
what I´m heading into

(I am lost in pain without you)

(So cold, so alone)

All I have is you
It is all that I`m breathing for
All I need is you

(Now I can't make it through)

All the nights I've prayed,
must this all be untrue?

(I am unprepared to be strong)

I just can't believe 
I am losing you

(Unprepared to carry on)
(I can't see you walk away)

(So cold, so alone)

All I have is you
It is all that I´m *breathing* for
All I need is you

(Now I can't make it through)

I am losing you forever

(I am lost in pain without you)

I am leaving ground forever (Forever, forever)

(Distant, so far, destiny is selecting me)
(I can't be strong, life is disconnecting me)

(Now)
(Loneliness infecting me) 
(Gone are the days you were there protecting me)

(So cold, so alone)

All I have is you
It is all that I´m breathing for
All I need is you

(Now I can't make it through)

I am losing you forever

(I am lost in pain without you)

I am leaving ground forever (Forever)


All I have is you

(It is all that I´m breathing for)

All I need is you

(Now I can't make it through)

It is all that I'm breathing for, (breathing for, breathing for), (breathing for, breathing for, breathing for)


Friday, September 28, 2012

unexpected life


why is it so hard to write in here?

it seems like my mind is empty.

i have nothing to share, nothing to inform, nothing..........

working had took my soul away..

i feel like a zombie.

all i know is my pending files is calling for me. *shut up biatch!*

sigh....

how i wish i can have a very carefree life as i was in mmu.

back then, my mind is full of  thoughts, my soul is full of expression, my heart is full of emotion..

that's when i feel so alive.. 

i want my colorful life backk...

me dislike my current life... everything seem gloomy and cloudy.

just that one thing...

which like a rainbow in my life..

yeah.. you. 

thanks for adding colors to my life.

at least i still can smile throughout my gloomy day with you with me.

you really like a rainbow to me. 

you're far from me and untouchable.

but still you can make me smile.

thanks for always be there for me. Appreciate it a lot. 

________________________________________________________________________

I miss You - Incubus



To see you when I wake up

Is a gift I didn't think could be real



To know that you feel the same as I do

Is a three-fold utopian dream


You do something to me that I can't explain

So would I be out of line if I said
I miss you?



I see your picture

I smell your skin on the empty pillow next to mine


You have only been gone ten days

But already I'm wasting away


I know I'll see you again

Whether far or soon


But I need you to know that I care 

And I miss you







Tuesday, August 28, 2012

s.e.m.p.u.r.n.a


setiap orang mencari kesempurnaan dalam kehidupan. kesempurnaan hadir dengan hadirnya sesorang yang melengkapi ketidak sempurnaan dalam diri kita. namun, dalam mencari kesempurnaan, ramai yang tersasar kerana salah tafsiran maksud sempurna.

ada orang menafsir sempurna itu adalah apabila kita memiliki segalanya.

ada orang menafsir sempurna itu adalah apabila kita upaya memiliki sesuatu yang diidamkan

ada orang menafsir sempurna itu adalah kecantikkan

ada orang menafsir sempurna itu adalah kebahagiaan tanpa penderitaan

ada orang menafsir sempurna itu adalah apabila mendapat kepuasan hidup

tapi 

sempurna adalah apabila kita dapat menerima apa yang kita ada seadanya.

apabila kita bersyukur dengan apa yang kita ada, pada masa itulah hidup kita terasa sempurna. tiada hidup yang tiada penderitaan, tiada siapa dapat memiliki segalanya. 

aku tak sempurna.
kau tak sempurna.
dia tak sempurna.

apa yang sempurnakan hidup kita adalah rasa bersyukur.

sempurna paras rupa belum tentu sempurna keperibadian. sempurna itu subjektif. 

kau rasa aku sempurna dimata kau, tapi mungkin bukan aku yang mampu sempurnakan hidup kau. mungkin dia yang mampu memberi kesempurnaan kepada kau. 

hanya tuhan sahaja yang tahu apa yang terbaik untuk aku, kau dan dia.




Cinta Bersatu
Di matamu ku berharga
Kau perlakukan aku
Lebih dari mencintai dirimu

Di dekatmu ku merasa
Bahagianya aku
Dapat ruang cintamu

Hanya kamu saja
Yang mampu begitu
Tulus
Mengerti aku

Kau sempurna bagiku
Tak kurang sesuatu
Kau terima apa adaku

Ku sempurna bagimu
Tak kurang sesuatu
Cinta bersatu

Gayamu
Sifatmu
Cara mencintaiku
Yang membuatku diriku jatuh cinta padamu





Saturday, August 25, 2012

lesson learned


Special dedicates to my yaobo..


yaobo...

First of all i'm sorry for all the misery caused. 
Second, i hope my existence in your life can actually make you happier than before.
Third, i know you can face this challenging phase with open heart and wide smile.=D
Fourth, just think that it happened because it is the way Allah guide and save us. So we have to accept it.
Fifth, people do make mistakes. it is part of life lesson. learn from it. 
Sixth, never being too good to people around us no matter how important they are to you.
Seventh, always think about yourself first. * Dont worry, it wont make you become selfish.*
Eighth, love yourself, appreciate yourself, respect yourself. People around you will do the same to you then.
Nineth, do remember that a good man for a good woman and vice versa. to find a good man, we must be a good woman first.
Tenth, nice meeting and knowing you. 


Do Enjoy this lovely soothing song.


Zee Avi - I Am Me Once More 



No, I really don't think so
That you think I'd be incapable of being on my own
No, I really don't think so
That I would for a second let you back in through my door

I have spent many a nights
Even when you are by my side
I she'd tears I couldn't dry
I she'd tears I couldn't dry

But I should thank you for
Taking my blindfold off now
I ain't jaded no more, no more
And I take pride in being the one that said goodbye
That could only mean I am me, once more

You would turn your head the other way
So you won't have to listen to what I have to say
You assume that I needed you
But you didn't realize that I needed no one but myself
I needed no one but myself

But I should thank you for
Taking my blindfold off now
I ain't jaded no more, no more
And I take pride in being the one that said goodbye
That could only mean I am me, once more

That could only mean I am me, once more
That could only mean I am me, once more