the day I lost my love

23.10.2012 / 9.00 am

I was rushing to court. And my love is missing in action. I'm searching for my love. I try my best to find my love but my love is nowhere to be found.

I lost control. Sad, frustrated, upset, angry. where is my love?

Since I was rushing to court, I need to forget bout my love for awhile. But of course I can't concentrate on my driving. I kept thinking bout my love. What happened to my love. All the negative presumptions running through my mind.

Back from court, I try for another luck. But it seems like luck is not on my side today. Still my love is missing, unsearchable. I went to my room, get a  nescafe ice cool just to reduce my sorrowfulness. 

I'm going to office with my sadness face. Obviously I can't live without my love. I feel uncomfortable without my love with me. During lunch break, I once again try my best to find my love. still unlucky. I try to think positive. I convince my heart that I will meet my love this evening.

Back from the office, still not giving up, with full of hope, I'm searching for my love everywhere. Negative. It is hard for me to let go my love. To actually moving on and find a new love. But, if this is a faith that my relationship with my love end here, I accept. 

Still... deep inside, I wish, I can find my love and back together again. To find a replacement for my love is something that may take months or years. I am a choosy person. Once I fall in love, it is impossible to just forget and move on. Every thing will not be the same again without my love.

My love, I wish I can meet you again back together again. If not, may you Rest in Peace. Sigh.......

Losing You by Dead by April

What I have in me,
in my mind is you

(I would die if we were through)

What I'm feeling now,
what I´m heading into

(I am lost in pain without you)

(So cold, so alone)

All I have is you
It is all that I`m breathing for
All I need is you

(Now I can't make it through)

All the nights I've prayed,
must this all be untrue?

(I am unprepared to be strong)

I just can't believe 
I am losing you

(Unprepared to carry on)
(I can't see you walk away)

(So cold, so alone)

All I have is you
It is all that I´m *breathing* for
All I need is you

(Now I can't make it through)

I am losing you forever

(I am lost in pain without you)

I am leaving ground forever (Forever, forever)

(Distant, so far, destiny is selecting me)
(I can't be strong, life is disconnecting me)

(Now)
(Loneliness infecting me) 
(Gone are the days you were there protecting me)

(So cold, so alone)

All I have is you
It is all that I´m breathing for
All I need is you

(Now I can't make it through)

I am losing you forever

(I am lost in pain without you)

I am leaving ground forever (Forever)


All I have is you

(It is all that I´m breathing for)

All I need is you

(Now I can't make it through)

It is all that I'm breathing for, (breathing for, breathing for), (breathing for, breathing for, breathing for)

unexpected life

why is it so hard to write in here?

it seems like my mind is empty.

i have nothing to share, nothing to inform, nothing..........

working had took my soul away..

i feel like a zombie.

all i know is my pending files is calling for me. *shut up biatch!*

sigh....

how i wish i can have a very carefree life as i was in mmu.

back then, my mind is full of  thoughts, my soul is full of expression, my heart is full of emotion..

that's when i feel so alive.. 

i want my colorful life backk...

me dislike my current life... everything seem gloomy and cloudy.

just that one thing...

which like a rainbow in my life..

yeah.. you. 

thanks for adding colors to my life.

at least i still can smile throughout my gloomy day with you with me.

you really like a rainbow to me. 

you're far from me and untouchable.

but still you can make me smile.

thanks for always be there for me. Appreciate it a lot. ♥

________________________________________________________________________

I miss You - Incubus

To see you when I wake up

Is a gift I didn't think could be real

To know that you feel the same as I do

Is a three-fold utopian dream

You do something to me that I can't explain

So would I be out of line if I said

I miss you?

I see your picture

I smell your skin on the empty pillow next to mine

You have only been gone ten days

But already I'm wasting away

I know I'll see you again

Whether far or soon

But I need you to know that I care 

And I miss you

s.e.m.p.u.r.n.a

setiap orang mencari kesempurnaan dalam kehidupan. kesempurnaan hadir dengan hadirnya sesorang yang melengkapi ketidak sempurnaan dalam diri kita. namun, dalam mencari kesempurnaan, ramai yang tersasar kerana salah tafsiran maksud sempurna.

ada orang menafsir sempurna itu adalah apabila kita memiliki segalanya.

ada orang menafsir sempurna itu adalah apabila kita upaya memiliki sesuatu yang diidamkan

ada orang menafsir sempurna itu adalah kecantikkan

ada orang menafsir sempurna itu adalah kebahagiaan tanpa penderitaan

ada orang menafsir sempurna itu adalah apabila mendapat kepuasan hidup

tapi 

sempurna adalah apabila kita dapat menerima apa yang kita ada seadanya.

apabila kita bersyukur dengan apa yang kita ada, pada masa itulah hidup kita terasa sempurna. tiada hidup yang tiada penderitaan, tiada siapa dapat memiliki segalanya. 

aku tak sempurna.
kau tak sempurna.
dia tak sempurna.

apa yang sempurnakan hidup kita adalah rasa bersyukur.

sempurna paras rupa belum tentu sempurna keperibadian. sempurna itu subjektif. 

kau rasa aku sempurna dimata kau, tapi mungkin bukan aku yang mampu sempurnakan hidup kau. mungkin dia yang mampu memberi kesempurnaan kepada kau. 

hanya tuhan sahaja yang tahu apa yang terbaik untuk aku, kau dan dia.

Cinta Bersatu

Di matamu ku berharga

Kau perlakukan aku

Lebih dari mencintai dirimu

Di dekatmu ku merasa

Bahagianya aku

Dapat ruang cintamu

Hanya kamu saja

Yang mampu begitu

Tulus

Mengerti aku

Kau sempurna bagiku

Tak kurang sesuatu

Kau terima apa adaku

Ku sempurna bagimu

Tak kurang sesuatu

Cinta bersatu

Gayamu

Sifatmu

Cara mencintaiku

Yang membuatku diriku jatuh cinta padamu

lesson learned

Special dedicates to my yaobo..

yaobo...

First of all i'm sorry for all the misery caused. 

Second, i hope my existence in your life can actually make you happier than before.

Third, i know you can face this challenging phase with open heart and wide smile.=D

Fourth, just think that it happened because it is the way Allah guide and save us. So we have to accept it.

Fifth, people do make mistakes. it is part of life lesson. learn from it. 

Sixth, never being too good to people around us no matter how important they are to you.

Seventh, always think about yourself first. * Dont worry, it wont make you become selfish.*

Eighth, love yourself, appreciate yourself, respect yourself. People around you will do the same to you then.

Nineth, do remember that a good man for a good woman and vice versa. to find a good man, we must be a good woman first.

Tenth, nice meeting and knowing you. 

Do Enjoy this lovely soothing song.

Zee Avi - I Am Me Once More 

No, I really don't think so

That you think I'd be incapable of being on my own

No, I really don't think so

That I would for a second let you back in through my door

I have spent many a nights

Even when you are by my side

I she'd tears I couldn't dry

I she'd tears I couldn't dry

But I should thank you for

Taking my blindfold off now

I ain't jaded no more, no more

And I take pride in being the one that said goodbye

That could only mean I am me, once more

You would turn your head the other way

So you won't have to listen to what I have to say

You assume that I needed you

But you didn't realize that I needed no one but myself

I needed no one but myself

But I should thank you for

Taking my blindfold off now

I ain't jaded no more, no more

And I take pride in being the one that said goodbye

That could only mean I am me, once more

That could only mean I am me, once more

That could only mean I am me, once more

ehemmmm....

Assalamualaikum.

it's been almost a year i didn't update my blog. well i think I've lost my writing skill as well. forgive me if my sentences all upside down. i feel like i am a newbie here.

anyway, chambering had over. i've called to the bar on 21st November 2011 and now working as LA. Technically speaking, i'm officially a lawyer. welcome to adulthood Shafiqah!!!

my circle of life is almost complete.

2011 is almost over. and it is not too much for me to claim 2011 as the most challenging year i ever face.

Chambering was challeging but still i have fun during the 10 months period. Chamber at Messrs Nik Saghir & Ismail was an exciting moment. No matter how people try to put me down, i still have friends that helped me to stand back.

When i'm done with chambering, i thought it is something that i should cheer for. (as how i did when i've completed my degree) but i'm wrong. totally wrong. there's something that more challenging awaits. it's call working.

working is a serious issue. it's all about yourself and your presentation. honestly, sometimes i think i'm not yet ready for this phase. i'm still a young girl who loves to fool around, make stupid jokes and always have a happy moment.

but i'm wrong again. i'm 24 years old and i have a lots of responsibility.

Being a lawyer requires u to be far more mature than your age. you cant have a good laugh at the office unless your boss shows some sense of humour which require you to laugh. being a lawyer means you're always mentally prepared to be scold in front of others. in another words- you must have a very thick face. being a lawyer means you will never have a good rest until the time when everyone wish you R.I.P.

one of a senior lawyer once said that law is a jealous mistress. it may destruct your family institution, your friendship and even your personal interest. but, my inner thoughts says, if law is my mistress, she's under my control. she's nothing without me.

thus, i take pride to always hold on my life principle that whatever shits happen in my life, my family is my priority. if u don't love your family as much as i love mine, that's your personal problem. don't drag me into your lifestyle.

thanks.

Mirr0r mirr0w on the wall, please wake her up.

N0rmal situati0n:

u enter a new office. Everything is new to y0u. The pe0ple, the smell, the envir0nment. Everything are total strange to y0u. Once you enter, the first thing to do are to smile and give g0od impressi0n b0ut us to every0ne.

The sec0nd thing t0 do is to make friend. Wait!!! Yes y0u can make friend but it must be with cauti0us cuz everything are new to y0u. To make friend, y0u must listen n just speak when it's necessary. Make sure u speak s0mething w0rth to be c0ncern.

The next thing is w0rk. Y0u're in the office. So of c0s y0u'll be assign to w0rk related or s0metimes err m0st of the time n0t related to ur j0b sc0pe. But, since u're new, y0u're under obligati0n to abide. And whatever it takes, y0u have to finish ur w0rk on y0ur own.

*imp0rtant n0tes: never g0ssipping or asking awkward questi0n that may tarnish ur reputati0n. Ur curi0sity may kill y0u.you may kn0w bout anything in the office as time g0es by.

Awkward situati0n:

on y0ur 1st day, u speak as u're having pr0blem with Letter R.

Next,u keep speak in english with every0ne as u're b0rn in UK, study in Aussie and live in canada. Which u actually just same like every0ne.

Next awkward situati0n, it's ur 2nd day in the office and u're g0ssipping b0ut staff.

Apart fr0m that, u also asking awkward questi0n. C0me 0n peep!! Keep ur curi0sity until certain time.

Last but n0t least u're n0thing here s0 st0p elevate urself as if u're wiser than every0ne here.

And n0w ur attitude ann0yed people here. Sigh...

why i don't blog as much as before

here i am in the office at night.

i'm quite boring now. i'm currently waiting for my cute lil lawyer finalized her submission before we can bind it.

thus, i take this "precious moment" to write something here.

honestly i miss writing. i miss the time when i can blog about anything at anytime i want.

but now, sadly.. i have no internet connection at home and it is not appropriate for me to blog at the office when i have other things which are more important to do.

sigh...

and more terrible, i cant register the mobile blog thinggy!! fuck~~ i've tried several times but no response..i wonder where does it goes wrong.. T_T

my dear blog, it is not that i purposely abandoned u. u're always in my heart. u're the only place where i can expressed my deepest words..

ok peepsss~~have to go.. its already past nine!!